Sunday, March 14, 2010


I haven't been to the grocery store in almost a year.
I think I went with Michael the Monday before that terrible Thursday.
And that was the last time.

For the first few months after, I didn't sleep. Just couldn't. I was so tired. But I didn't think it fair that I should feel comfortable. That I should rest. I also couldn't go to the grocery store. A great friend told me that I could go years without going to the grocery store. But I couldn't go years without sleep. To choose one. And not the other. To choose not going to the grocery store. And to sleep. Good advice.

Stu goes to the grocery store for us now. Or I pick up the basics from Target. I can shop in their little section, but not Publix. I know. It's weird. Michael was my grocery store partner. I don't like grocery shopping to begin with ... neither did he, really. Together it was fun. We laughed. We timed ourselves to see how much time it would take. But could never remember the last time score.

It seemed that every time we bagged our apples or oranges, we started an avalanche. Same with carrots. We made it a game. Would the carrots jump off the shelf this time? Another silly game that we enjoyed together.

I can't really explain the reason that I can't get past the grocery store parking lot now.
I pull in. I sit in the car. I leave. Without going inside.
For now.


Wendy said...

Go in and buy something you or Michael never, ever did. Like something super crazy from the 'international' section. Run in, buy a can of coconut milk (well, if you have never bought that before ... or maybe one of those cans of 'soda' in the international aisle that have no English words on them) and then run out ...... baby steps ... make it your own game ... find the craziest crap you can find and then RUN (literally) with it. (but pay first, lol) Perhaps starting new traditions will help and break you back into your normal, yet altered (in a huge way) schedule.

Kim said...

I love you and am SO glad that you chose to sleep! I'm certain that someday you will go grocery shopping again.

Ordinary Mom said...

This post made me think of all of the things my son and I do together that I take for granted. Grocery shopping is one of them. We have our own silly games we play and I realized just now that I DO take those times for granted. You always assume there will be a next time. So Thank you for this post! I really hope that you are able to do those things once again. I am praying that things get better for you!
Have a great week!

Mrs. Justice said...

My mom and I always went to the grocery store together...since I was old enough to ride in the cart. I can understand completely why you wouldn't want to go without your partner in crime.

Karen said...

Uh-oh. I want to comment on a comment and it's not even my blog. Is that done or are you supposed to save that stuff for Facebook? (Makes me feel old not knowing.) I just want to say I think Wendy has a great idea; I wish I had thought of it! I hope I am at Publix when it happens. I would love to see the looks on OTHER peoples faces while you run through the store only to pick up a bottle of Italian sparkling water. I am volunteering to stand outside the entrance with a stop watch, clip board and whistle. I will even wear a baseball cap on my head backward - something no one my age should EVER do!