Monday, March 08, 2010


I feel this need to continually challenge myself.

Mostly, it is physical challenges. Like the 3 Day (and the fundraising that comes with a walk like that). Or the Disney Princess Half Marathon. Or play tennis four (or sometimes more) days of the week.

I think it is to remind myself that I am alive. That I am able to feel and experience life in a physical way. I don't train well for these events. But I do them. I feel the pain of the blisters. I feel. Which is important because I mostly try not to feel.

And I wonder what it is about these challenges that draw me in? Is it something to look forward to? Is it the pushing of myself to get out of this cocoon of comfort and silence? Is it because my child can't do it now? And couldn't do it before? Is it to remind myself that I AM alive?

I don't know. I just know that I am currently planning my next challenge. Putting together a training schedule that my feet are begging me to follow.


Mom said...

You are an inspiration. I'm your mother. I think I'm supposed to inspire you. However, I am the one that is inspired, always have been. You give me strength and I love you with all my heart.

Wendy said...

I am amazed by your challenges and fully understand. I am trying to challenge myself as well. The idea of spring weather is delighting and cheering everyone, but I am a depressed scrooge because I've been lying under quilts all winter, eating fast food. I am so disappointed in myself because I had planned SO HARD that I would be ready for bathing suit weather. I know your post goes deeper than just that, but I am simply trying to relate, in a way, that I too, feel depressed and a desire to expel those negative and sad feelings through a physical outlet. I am certain that this is not uncommon. I love your princess tiara. Am I loser to say I have the same one (well ... okay, three, that are similar?) I wish I was in the Magic Kingdom with you. Enjoy your princess massage pretty princess!!!!

Cindy said...

Who knows why, just press on, sweet girl. Press on.
I'm so proud of you!!!