I participated in the 3 Day Walk for Breast Cancer last year. Started out by myself, but made a great friend, Jenny, at the beginning of the walk. We ended up walking together the entire 3 Days.
I had a pretty amazing support team. Stu and Michael picked me up every day from camp so that I could spend the night in the hotel with them. Call me a wussy because I opted out of camping - but I enjoyed spending the time with them. And they totally pampered me. Brought me meals. And Icy Hot. And Blister Band-ads. Very sweet. They were at most of the cheering stations. I looked forward to seeing them at every opportunity. I needed that connection. I needed their hugs. And high-fives. I needed their love to keep me going.
And keep me going they did. Along with my mom and dad and my family members and friends. I couldn't have done the walk without so much support.
I was tired at the end of the walk. But felt really good about the big accomplishment. I came home on a big high. Like I could do anything. And so, I signed up again for the walk this October, 2009. With nary a thought turned toward the 6 blisters on my left foot. Or the pain in my knees on the last day. Forgot all about those things. I recruited more people to join me. I was glad to be walking with a team. Cute t-shirts. Tent decorations. A team name.
And then when the unthinkable happened, I knew that I wouldn't be able to complete the walk this year. Michael was such a big part of my experience last year that I couldn't imagine doing it again without him. I didn't want to imagine it. His little face was what kept me going when I thought I couldn't go any further.
But then my sweet husband reminded me of how proud Michael was of me walking. How he talked about cheering me on again this year. How he was my trainer and would come in while I was on the treadmill and tell me to hustle it up. Walk harder. Faster. Stronger. How he wanted to complete the walk with me when he was older. How we would be a great team.
And now he can't.
But I can.
I am going to participate in this walk. I imagine that Michael will be with me at every step of the way. I made a promise to do it. And Michael was adament that promises always be kept. Because otherwise you were lying. and we. do. not. lie. It was a rule of the house. (Alongside the rule of never talking to Mommy during Biggest Loser... ahem)
So I am in. It will be hard. I will cry. I will talk of quitting. But I am determined to push forward. For my Michael. For my Grams. And for me.