Friday, December 04, 2009

another dream. another gift.

I had this dream last night.
That Michael was fine. But in the hospital.
And on a Monday, he was going to die. Because the hospital people had given up.

I was in the hospital lobby.
And Michael's surgeon came up to me to say he was sorry.
I called him Michael's first cardiologist's name. I couldn't remember his. In this dream.
He corrected me.
I ignored him and kept calling him the other guy's name.

I pleaded with him to give my son a chance.
To perform a transplant. He backed away. He said there was nothing he could do.
I was persistent. I followed him. Crying.
He changed his mind. He said he would do it.
I called him the wrong name again.

He left to prepare for surgery.

I went back to a waiting room. Filled with people.
And my Michael. Who was dressed in his sweet black hoodie. College shirt. Khakis and only socks. [The clothes he was buried in.]
We hugged. And I smelled him.
He was mystified at my jubilation at seeing him.
He gave me his "you are being weird, mom" look.
I said I hadn't seen him in so long. That I missed him.
And he said I was here all along.

I woke up at that moment. Tears on my cheeks.
And my first thought was that I wanted to tell him about my dream.
It was so real.

7 comments:

Tammy On the Go said...

that was powerful.

Anonymous said...

Oh, that gave me goosebumps! I don't know if it was your dream or the way you narrated it, but one thing is for sure ... you are a gifted storyteller/writer.

Cindy said...

Wow. That was amazing. You are amazing. Love you, friend.

Kim said...

What a gift to get to spend some time with your sweet boy! A hug & to smell him! Love that his has been "here all along." Love you!

nicgojaguars said...

What a beautiful gift amongst you pain.
Nicole

Anonymous said...

Your angel paid you a visit....

Martha R said...

That gave me chills! Dreams sure can be wonderful!