Guinness Book. Accident Prone.

I have always been fascinated with the Guinness Book of World Records. I wanted to be one of those record holders. Wouldn't it be cool to say that you are so unique that you have your own world record? Like this woman I saw on Ellen yesterday. Longest toe nails in the world. Have no idea how she walks with them, but she has been growing those suckers since 1981. That is dedication.

I think I have found my world record. I am gaining on whomever has had the most windshields replaced in cars. Or for the most freak accidents.

I had my 5th windshield replaced this morning. A rock kicked up and hit my windshield on our drive home from Atlanta yesterday. Call Guinness ... I'm up and coming!

Most of my accidents are not really my fault. Once - I didn't even have to be in the car for the windshield to crack. I'm that good. Here's my list:

1. My first accident happened only 2 months after getting my license. I was in the Upton's parking lot, and backed into someone waiting for a parking space. Obviously, I didn't see her. I cried the whole way home and when I got home, my parents, upon seeing my hysterics, thought something was terribly wrong. Not a scratch on my car. Her car had a little $700 dent. But a few months later, I see her face on TV. Her son had been killed in an accident having to do with the Ford Saddlebag gas tanks and had just won a large settlement from Ford. I hit her probably during her litigation. How terrible!

2. My second accident was on my way to my first (and last!) Judo class. It was the summer of 1996 and I had just been to the Olympics to see Judo. (The Olympics are another thing I have always dreamed of being a part of ... love them! Apparently, I thought Judo might be the answer ... not so much). A woman made a left turn right into my car. I went to Judo anyway. Had my first windshield replaced with that accident.

3. The third accident happened while I was driving home from work in Atlanta. The plan was to meet my parents halfway so that they could take Michael for the night (I was running in a 5K the following day). I was on 75 North and the 18 wheeler in front of me ran over a sheet of metal in the road, kicking it up straight into my car. The auto body shop said that they had never seen a hood look like mine. It also destroyed my windshield ... lots of little glass shards came into the car. Did I stop when I ran into the sheet of metal? Nope. I was afraid that if I stopped, my car wouldn't keep going.

4. The fourth. The summer of 2005. We had a hurricane day, when we probably shouldn't have had one. It wasn't that bad ... just some gusts of wind. Those gusts of wind broke our neighbors tree in half and you guessed it ... the top fell on my car. And my windshield. Another replacement.

5. I have had other minor accidents ... running into things behind me. My dad ran into my car backing out of his driveway and took off the passenger side mirror. I ran into my friend's mailbox in high school and completely knocked it over. I'm not so good with the whole backing up thing.

And that's the reason I never drive. Rocks, metal, crazy left hand turners ... all attracted to me and my car. It is just not safe.

So .. call Guinness. I'm gearing up for my entry in the book of records!