Saturday, October 10, 2009

It has been 6 months. Half a year.

We are entering into the Holiday season.

I went to Kohl's last week. Hoping to find some shoes. I didn't find any.
But as I turned the corner to head back to the down escalator. I heard it. The first Christmas song. Deck the Halls, I think. And I saw it. Christmas decorations. Trees and ornaments. Tears sprang to my eyes and I quickly found my way back to the downstairs. To the safety that is still October.

I had the same reaction to Halloween decorations at Target. Michael loved to dress up. And to get candy for it? He was a fan. It was a favorite day to be sure.

I considered turning off our lights this Halloween. Let the trick-or-treaters go else where. We are closed. But that seems false too. And not in the spirit of my son. So we will hand out sweet treats to princesses and super heroes. This first Halloween. Without my son turned Star Wars bounty hunter.


Mom and Daddy said...

We feel it too my sweet one. We're still here loving you and prying for you.

Cindy said...

This post brought me to tears. I'm so sad for you, Jenn. These holidays and events are so difficult to get through, esp. the first year. You are always on my mind and I love you.

Anonymous said...

I've been thinking of you even more this month. We were thinking about skipping Halloween this year b/c the FL/ GA makes Jacksonville a crazy place. I was speaking to someone about it and she said "how many Halloween's do we have before they'll stop dressing up." This gave me pause. I thought of Michael and how the only time Tony truly enjoyed Halloween, were the one's he spent w/ Michael. Tony's not a big fan of dress up, never has. He prefers reality to fantasy. That's why Tony and Michael were such a good fit. I thank him for giving that to him.
love you,

Anonymous said...

Jennifer, you are in my thoughts and prayers. I pray that the Lord will give you peace as you grieve. I also pray that you and your husband and family will draw close into the loving arms of Jesus Christ. When we don't know what to pray, Jesus is at the right hand of the Father interceding for us.
Rachael Stewart Johnson

Brea said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Brea said...

I am so, so sorry Jenn, about the loss of your dear son. I will pray for you.