Friday, April 24, 2009


I folded laundry today.
There was nothing of Michael's in the wash.  Not a sock.  No boxer briefs with clone troopers on them.  No t-shirts.  No pajamas.

It seems that life is moving forward.  And I am not.  I still expect Michael to come home.  That this is not permanent.  Mornings are difficult ... I wake up and my first thought is of Michael. Then I remember.  

Today I am missing Michael's belly laugh.  How he would throw his head back and laugh straight from the the top of his toes.  Or when we would watch a suspenseful movie (like Star Wars, of course!), he would jump up and down and cheer the good guys on.  

I miss our snuggle time.  I miss our afternoon snack time.  I miss the sound of his practicing his fluency paragraphs.  I miss checking his spelling pre-test.  I miss the sound of his playing with his army men.  He was the best sound effect maker.  I miss watching him sleep.  I miss the way he said Mommy.  I miss the action figures that he would stick in my purse just because he wanted them to go with me.

I love being Michael's mommy.  I learned much from him in his short life.  He taught me how to laugh.  And how to love.   He taught me about grace under pressure.  He showed me what strength truly is.   He showed me how to play.  How to be creative.  How to go with the flow.  So many things.



Cindy said...

Jack and I watched the army man videos together last week on YouTube. He wanted to watch the D-Day video over and over. Those videos are priceless, Jenn, thank you for sharing them with us.

Anonymous said...

Jenn & Stu: Our sweet Michael taught us all so much. He was the bravest person I've ever known. We too think of him and you all every day...many, many times. I love that you are guiding us all through his memories. We missed so many of them, living so far away. I'll be watching and reading and loving you so much. You and Stu hang on to each other and remember happy times all you can. Aunt Joani, et al.